This week it’s…election results! Election results that are happy! Election results that won’t make you want to curl up into a ball and cry! Plus some exciting impeachment news and some funnies too.
Rep. Tulsi Gabbard was one of the first Democratic presidential candidates to announce and was poised to be nothing more than an also-ran shit-stirrer with an amazing grey streak until early fall of 2019, when Hillary Clinton decided to make her public enemy #1. Thankfully all of this drama has reinvigorated interest in Gabbard’s bizzaro biography, because the story of how we wound up with Tulsi Gabbard in the first place is a whopper.
Depending on your point of view and your general openness to culty woowoo nonsense, you may be thinking that Marianne Williamson is the most interesting candidate in the race, and look, we’re not here to dissuade you of that notion. While not the most articulate on the issues (her love of New Zealand notwithstanding) Williamson’s origin story is definitely worth reading up on if you enjoy being entertained and/or want a new yet another reason to be annoyed with California.
If you’ve spent much time at all thinking about the Yang Gang, then you’re definitely a millennial so congrats on having no assets or retirement savings. It’s no wonder that Yang’s marquee proposal, a universal basic income that he calls the “Freedom Dividend,” appeals to you. If you’re not part of the doomed generation, your first thought about Andrew Yang was probably, “What on earth?” and then your second was probably, “Who is this guy on the debate stage wearing no tie?” It’s been a long time since somebody dazzled the overly coiffed candidate field with such a dashing display of casualness.